(English (auto-generated) – edited)

Jewel: Danneel and Jensen Ackles are in the waiting room and I’m so excited to speak with them

Hi guys how are you I am so sorry I get so wrapped up in talking I know you guys have a family and thank you for bearing with me.

JA: oh that’s alright we just pushed them out on the street, they’re fine.

DA: Oh we’re the same kind of host, sometimes we don’t even notice our guests have left.

Jewel: when I was trying to raise funds and awareness for my Youth Foundation you just on your own chose to share your post on that post on social media and it was really wonderful to learn that you care so much about mental health

JA: so I think it was born out of the fans that the TV show Supernatural that I work on that fandom we became very close with them I mean the show’s been on for 15 years and we do a lot of these conventions like comic-con style and stuff and we really get to mingle with these people a lot and we just found more and more often that these people were dealing with a lot of a lot of struggles and they found a community within this this fandom that was very supportive and it is you could see the friendships that were being bred.

DA: It superseded the show even the connection they were making within the fan base

02:03 JA: yeah and these kind of gatherings and these conventions would give people this opportunity to get together and share each other’s stories under this kind of common and likeness and and I kind of I started making the comparison I’m like yeah it’s like a car show people go there because they’re into cars but then they end up talking about each other and I’m like wait does that make me a car?  this show became a vehicle for people coming together and being able to share their highs and lows and their struggles and mental health was certainly something that was that popped up on the radar more often than not and so we we started paying attention.

Jewel: yeah your community and fan community I got to talk with Misha last week and I got to really learn and witness firsthand how engaged that community is.  I know you guys are what about to film your last two episodes I know you can’t because of quarantine – what’ll happen in the community will they stick around? 

03:48 JA: it’s yeah I mean look they’ve always said that this is just the show that will never die and it literally is the show that will never die!  you know just when we thought we were you know moving right towards the finish line you know this whole thing happen is we’re still in limbo acting through two more episodes you know when it when it ends I don’t know. I do know that there are there plans of having these you know these these conventions and stuff in the future and get-togethers of that sort and I don’t know I mean you know how this entertainment industry works they’re probably going to try to reboot us in about three or five years.

DA: yeah I wonder who’ll play you  – he’s not born yet!

04:39 Jewel: One Tree Hill by the way really helped break my career I had a song on that show so it’ll always hold a really dear place in my heart.  I’m curious if you guys have seen this.  I’ve always been shocked that a lot of the gatekeepers in the industry create really toxic environments.  What have your guys’s experiences been, not to get into a me-too discussion but just the business.

DA: I think especially with One Tree Hill you know Hillary Burton and I were vocal about our experience and variety and at the time you know it was the second television show I had done so I didn’t speak up about it and talk about it I talked about it to him he knew about it he witnessed some of it and it was just and privately he said something to the person but um I think it’s just always it’s for me it’s been it was really great that it was brought to light and that we could start talking about it but I don’t really feel that a lot has changed personally and I mean yes we’ve told our stories but have we really moved on has that has that mentality changed or was everyone like yeah yeah sure we’ll deal with that that’s great let’s let’s write some articles about it and then move on and I feel like you know we have to keep on it and I like that you brought it up because we should keep talking about it you know it’s it’s why my girlfriends and I from One Tree Hill are still so very connected because we went through that together as women and the person that sought to tear us apart all he did is make us so much closer we probably would have never had that bond if he hadn’t.

Jewel: people in power tend to just proliferate and nobody seems to mind it I guess in reverse I’ve also seen musicians with really bad behavior, artists with very bad behavior and nobody disciplines them either I mean the managers and stuff.

DA: but by the time you get to that that powerful position you’ve gotten there by being told yes and by being elevated and no one sits there and says you know that thing you did yesterday on set you hurt a lot of people doing that you really ought to reconsider the next time you use that voice or handle things like that.  It is not happening, people just go I didn’t see that yesterday you’re fine what do you mean you didn’t do anything just go.

JA: Yeah, there’s not a lot of HR departments on a soundstage and people especially from an artist standpoint they kind of get a pass unfortunately.   And you know I’ve I’ve witnessed a lot of bad behavior from leads of shows or leads of movies and and and people just kind of you know turn a turn a blind eye to it.  I know this happens in every industry I mean you look at the news you look at you look at major corporations you look at any any industry and this is this is rampant I mean look at you go back to you know the Mad Men days and nice it’s it’s all over the place but definitely speaking from my own experiences as an actor in the entertainment industry that kind of bad behavior does go unpunished quite often and it’s I feel like it’s gotten less and less because more people are now holding people accountable or reputations are preceding them I think you know 10 15 years ago maybe 20 years ago people just put up with that bad behavior I think now it’s like people just don’t want to work with those people anymore so they don’t have to put up with it so I feel like there’s a little bit of a correction there in this in this day and age but it’s still there you know the bad behavior is still around.

DA: and it doesn’t have to be a part of creativity I mean that’s you know when people say that oh no they can’t talk to anybody they have to be locked in this room and they can’t you know their creative process it’s like okay create but to me a creative process should never involve bad behavior .

JA:  I mean you know she worked on a movie and I won’t say names but you know the the the lead actress would pull stunts like move her chair outside and away from the other actors and it was just like girls being mean to girls I’m like what how you know and what did you do?  she’s like I just sat outside 

DA: yeah I mean not gonna you know just not disturbing anybody’s creative process 

JA: yeah if that’s what she needs to get her to get her day then that’s I guess we’re all gonna do and I’m like gosh that’s unacceptable.

Jewel: it’s so weird I was really surprised I got to do a movie with ang lee and I’d never acted …  a lot of my co-stars were not nice I mean it was just sabotaging and strange.

12:31 DA: I have not witnessed that, that’s pretty bad

JA: yeah I mean there’s you know I’ve heard of production managers and stuff telling the crew telling PAs and assistants and stuff to not engage with the talent period.  I found that out talking to some of my PAs I’m like you know you didn’t talk to me for like the first several episodes you were working on this show, what was up?  well I just came from another show and they were like do not engage with the talent I’m like yeah this sucks you know because we’re all doing this together we’re all you know links in this chain trying to build a product.

13:10 DA: everybody that goes into creating a film or creating an album I mean those people are all integral parts of what you’re doing I mean you need I don’t know a lot about the sound guy the mixer 

JA: yes your mixer you guys you need all these professionals like I can’t do that

13:26 DA: and you want them to like you and your process and them and what you’re creating so when you have your final product it’s something that’s I mean it’s made by so many hands and it’s such

JA: and you can all celebrate it

13:40 Jewel: I did a little research it was CEOs people celebrities people in the arts or in the public eye do have a disproportionately high suicide rate. …  What are you guys’s thoughts about you know our mental health in this business is there stigma have you guys run across other celebrities actually know that you Jensen had helped somebody that it had depression and you were there with them in their trailer what are your experiences with this and sort of the pressures of the business. 

16:10 JA: it was you know for me and in dealing with the you know the few people that I’ve had that in my life that do struggle with this you know I always try to just bring perspective to it.  I think with when someone suffers from from from these situations in these conditions illness they can get so focused on what is creating that that problem that they can’t look out side make back away from what what’s making them feel what they’re feeling and so I just tried to do that I said listen I can’t take you need to step back and and stop thinking about you know this glass and look at this whole room and how beautiful this glass is in this room and in that and let’s let’s talk about all of the people that love you and all of the people that want you to continue doing good you know so it’s I mean look I’m no therapist I’m no doctor  I just I try to just try to be a good friend and I think at the end of the day if you can if you can surround yourself with people who care about you then you might not go too far down that rabbit hole the next time it comes calling 

DA: but in this business that is a very hard thing to do

JA: it is, and like you said jewel that you know when you when you are working essentially outside of yourself when you spend 12 hours a day on a set portraying a character that is going through grief and through you know the ups and downs of storytelling.  You know when you’re playing a character you’re not playing just the quiet moments generally because that’s not dynamic storytelling you’re playing the the big heavy emotional or the action sequence or you know the love story or whatever it is you’re playing all of these these highlights of life all the high points yeah and so to deal with that it’s it’s difficult I I know that I have you know when I’ve had heavy emotional scenes when they yell cut the body doesn’t just stop because you’ve now told your body that this is what we’re going to feel because something real is happening and even though you your brain knows that it’s not real real you’re telling your body to believe that it is and you know I there’s been several occasions where I’ve had to just walk off set and walk it off and that stuff you know come back and be like okay did we get the shot good okay all right I’m gonna go walk to my trailer for a minute and that’s that’s tough but I take I take pride I guess in knowing that I was able to tap into something for a creative purpose and I felt something real and for me I would imagine that’s probably something that you get to feel onstage while you’re singing there’s a there’s a real feeling that you get from that and I think for me that’s you know those are the things I like to hang my hat on.

19:09 Jewel: I’m really wanting to help people understand that everybody goes through anxiety that we talked about cleaning our teeth and dental hygiene and physical hygiene but we really don’t talk about good mental hygiene habits.  Have you guys found any tips or tools that can help people?

DA: hmm well I battle with anxiety constantly I probably like a lot of people out there it started I recognized it as like a flight anxiety when I got on planes I learned that that is just one little thing that it would bring in.

This JJ coming in.

Jewel: I made your parents run late …

21:05 JA: apparently her sister punched her in the eye , OK thank you for telling us, don’t punch back the three-year-old.

21:23 JA: For someone who flies quite a bit 

21:26 DA: it started when I was working a lot on One Tree Hill I was flying I lived in LA we shot in North Carolina I was flying back and forth about once a week then I started dating this guy and he was up in Vancouver and you know I wouldn’t have kids and I would take these all night flights just to hang out with you for a day and then fly back and and it kind of started then um the I got another job and I was working and then I just it hit me like I have to keep flying places to go to work and I don’t know why that that’s not mean I wasn’t afraid of flying before, it just became this thing that was overwhelming where I wouldn’t even audition for things because I thought no I’ll have to fly to do that I don’t want to do that I mean it was just a really really powerful and terrible and and then I noticed it started creeping into other areas of my life.   Especially after after you have a child then I just started obsessing over I need to be so careful nothing can happen to me not for myself but for my kids I can’t you know and I struggled with that a lot.

22:43 JA: especially with this, with covid she’s asking me multiple times, we’re not gonna get sick right? and she literally needs me to say the words.

DA: I do not need him to tell me the truth at all please do not.

22:56 JA: I just simply say we’re not getting sick.

23:03 DA: but I’ve allowed myself I think for the first to really talk about it to myself and say you know what yes you’re having a panic attack that’s okay you know you’re going to be okay.  I have about one bottle of ativan that will last me for the rest of my life I just my doctor’s like take the pill put it in your pocket just knowing you have it.  I have 99.9 percent of the time don’t ever take it because I just know it’s there and I’ve given you permission because I am an absolute perfectionist and I think that really my moms like that it’s it’s she’s got a lot of anxiety and it just you know I got it, just giving myself permission like yes you have this is a problem and you have it.

24:00 Jewel: I started having panic attacks and I am NOT a doctor so this is from a folk singer so take that with 5,000 grains of salt but I learned when I was in the midst of a panic attack I could have awareness.    I started to learn that when something felt out of control when I felt unsafe or too vulnerable I needed to create a whole new level of self-care.  I would start calling a friend regularly or whatever it was um and then with time I do not have them anymore I’ve always struggled with anxiety I do you think perfectionism just tanks us I hate it I am such a perfectionist it’s an addiction.

DA: It’s a double-edged sword, I look back at things in my life and if I wouldn’t have just it’s gotta be it’s gotta be this then I wouldn’t have been where I am today, I wouldn’t know you, it’s – you can’t live with it, you can’t live without it.

JA: Our house wouldn’t be so clean, 

DA: The spoon drawer wouldn’t be as organised as it is,

JA: Oh my gosh, Jewel, the spoons and the forks are all lined up perfectly

DA: But you will never pull out a baby spoon when you mean to pull out a big one

JA: no, you won’t,  she’s got me doing it cuz I’m like I don’t want to be the one to ruin this. 

28:18 Jewel: you know it’s sad about perfectionism is it like we think it’s gonna protect us from hurt and then it ends up hurting us.   I’ve no idea if this will help you but I’ll just offer it — I sacrifice my attachment to perfectionism and I dedicate it to compassion and it’s really helped.

30:45 DA: this you know the Covid, the Quarantine experience has been you know one of my things is like everything’s in order everything’s super clean and I have allowed –  this is big for me – I let my kids draw, there’s chalk all over the side of our house which that is so far removed from anything I would normally allow that he came home and he was like wow you let them draw on the house, on the actual house okay okay

JA: and then I’m like come on let’s go find some more walls guys that’s great … why

DA: they wanted to.  I think it’ll power wash off but yeah

 JA: yeah, we’ll get it off

DA: We may have to repaint

JA: I’ll get it off for you.

31:41 Jewel: Covid is really bringing up a lot of mental health issues for everybody it’s why I wanted to start this show there’s the virus then there’s the economic fallout and there’s the mental health fallout.  We’re all going to come out of this one or two ways more pathologically anxious or transformed in some way or we’ve learned to become more resilient.  Do you guys mind answering some questions  — I’m gonna read through them .. well we have two live people yeah let’s with a few awkward pauses….

34:28 DA: Jensen and I made mugs over Covid19.  This is mine.

JA: Mine was so bad I didn’t bring it out.

Q: Hi gamersiren  – I had a question for you guys I’ve noticed that you have a lot of content online with the kids and stuff but since you guys are quarantined how do you get to spend time like maybe with yourselves or with each other and maybe not so much with the kids, people do in general still need some me time

35:39 DA:  mm-hmm we actually haven’t had a lot of

35:43 JA: that I think it’s it it kind of comes in little little bits right now.  We do shows with Jewel so that we can have some.   I think she and I are intuitive enough to know when she needs to you know hang it in the bathroom or in her closet or in the room a little longer them and and she knows when I maybe need to sleep in a little, for a few extra minutes and she’ll go handle the first disasters that are happening in the morning so I think she and I just kind of we just kind of take turns letting each other have a little peace whenever we can but for the most part it’s you know we’re in the weeds we’ve got a we’ve got a seven-year-old almost seven year old and we’ve got three year old twins so.   We do know we could feel when someone just needs to to have a little extra time to themselves and that’s really all we can do at this point I mean I wish there was some amazing thing that we had.

DA: For us, it’s a really unique situation because Jensen’s been in Vancouver and he came home and we literally went into lockdown two days later well I know I was already shelter in place and he got here and so that was it, literally after 14 years of you being gone all the time.

37:19 JA: I mean yeah that’s that was our schedules nine months out of the year I feel we need a therapist to live with us that’s it’s huge me for our entire relationship I have been commuting back and forth so I’m gone most of the year our kids are like that was just the whole quarantine I mean they’ve been loving it because they get mom and dad all the time.

DA: like this has never happened and I am I am a very honest person on my Instagram and on my like I just like that is my one thing is I have to be authentic so I will say that yesterday our nanny who was our godmother to all three of my children came back with her first day because she has been quarantined and she she’s more than a caregiver really like my children have cried for her every single day I mean it’s family and so she’s here right now full disclosure and we’re being very safe but I just always know like I don’t do everything by myself it’s impossible so all the moms out there yes we have a person here that’s helping us and that is a privilege and it’s wonderful.

JA: it finally got to a point where I was crying for her yeah we finally finally reached our max – before yesterday it was seven weeks.

DA: you know this is the first time we have been alone

39:22 JA: luckily were you know we’re we’re figuring it out and yeah it’s been it’s been cool it’s been fun I mean sure not the days long time 

DA: I think our 10th anniversary is coming up and we

JA: yeah we were friends for about five or six years before that so yeah we’ve known each other we’ve been pals for quite a while time so getting to hang out it’s been a pleasure not a curse.

40:25 Jewel: we have one more question .. if you heard the dog barking 

DA: we had to put our dog in here because he will not 

JA: yeah he wants to be in here with us so he’ll bark if he’s not in here

DA: he was with us when we first started dating so he’s been around a while 

41:18 what’s your question my name is Kate and my question is I have these feelings of hopelessness if this will ever end, and I’m just wondering if you’ve had any of those kind of feelings?

DA: well I’ve definitely had those and um you know I’m I’m much more of the person who’ll stay up all night reading every news article I know that’s really don’t do that guys it’s not a good idea.  But I am that person that does that and I I called my dad and found solace and the in the words that he told me and it was you know that this world has been around a long time these things happen and this too will pass kind of a talk that he gave me and it will I mean we are strong people and I know we’ll come out of this okay and then I have this guy and I’m like right?

JA: yeah I certainly fall into the more positive outlook on things I talk about 

DA: Tell her what you told me when this first started.  I’ll tell you something I was in the grocery store I was in an unnamed big chain grocery store when this whole thing started and it was like no mass no but like but we all knew something was coming so I was like I better go to the grocery store.  And I didn’t it didn’t occur to me what was the grocery store was going to look like I don’t know why.  And it was scary people were grabbing stuff I mean it was so I finally get to the checkout and the lady’s checking me out and I don’t know if she just sensed something about me that she needed to do this to me but she called me in closer and she said you’re not buying the right things I was like what what do you mean she’s like you need to buy more non-perishables and she just started getting in my head and I you know me 

JA: Yeah, what else she’s like go to the bank and take out all your money – country you need to get out of city

DA: where do you live I was like in town oh that’s not gonna work you need to move out to the country , get your children and go, she’s like and just start laughing right now like you know me so I don’t get in trouble with my boss and I was like oh god why is this happening until I go to the car I am a mess I’m really thinking this is the end I haven’t prepared properly I’m gonna let my kids down, we don’t have a bunker in Kansas like this isn’t gonna go well and I get in the car and this guy just calmly said to me

JA: I said you have to have more faith in humanity we’re better than that you know we will, I just, we’ll always survive 

DA: And you were like you are gonna hear amazing stories – this is before we saw the amazing stories he was like you have no idea how this whole process is gonna change people.

JA: Yep, it’s gonna test people and they’re going to be amazing people that rise to the occasion to the challenge and I mean that clearly those people have been — you know health workers for one and there’s been so many.  I don’t know I just was like you got to have more faith in humanity, people are going to shine because of this.

44:42 Jewel: concentrate on that — there’s an Instagram good news I’ve cleaned out my social media and I’m only looking at things that are positive and happy.   While we don’t get to choose how long this experience lasts this is out of our control we get to choose what it does to us and so in that way we’re not a victim we’re not powerless we get to choose what type of experience we’re going to have…

Thank you guys for joining me thank you for taking the time and I really appreciate it’s a pleasure to get to know you both.